Rei, Why Am I Gay?
by Lady Harpy Dilandel
Summary: -YAOI WARNING STORY COMPLETE- Kai finds out that he has feelings for Rei. Will Rei ever know how Kai feels about him? If so, does Rei feel the same way about Kai? R&R plz, KaixRei, Kai's POV
1. Unexpected Feelings

Harpy: Hi! Waves Here's my story, hope you like it! Remember, it's a yaoi  
between Kai and Rei so if you hate those boy/boy relationships, don't read  
it. Oh, and the stories formatted in Kai's POV... ALL of it. Anyways, enjoy  
the story!  
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**Disclaimer:** I do not own beyblade or any of its characters. This is just a  
mere fanfic!

  
  
**_And all along the way I feel a part of me I have to fight  
Buried somewhere deep beneath my skin  
The emptiness in me is fadin'  
I can see my life is waitin'  
Now I know I'm livin' for who I am_** **_  
  
_**It's hard to be me,

And No one will really know

The truth of my dark past

That is hidden beneath my soul.

But a part of me has been revealed that I never knew of.

Though the signs are clear, I still deny it.

Before you were nothing,

And Hopefully,

You're still nothing at all.

But who am I to say how I feel?

Since the truth is,

I lie about the facts and go with the fiction.

Yet still a question haunts me so,

I cannot say if it's fact or fiction.

I cannot say if I'm willing to except it.

Oh hell with it, Rei, Why am I gay?

**_Another night again  
Another journey without friends  
Another a fight to wish away the loneliness I live_** **__**  
  
Why does the movement of your body boil heat in mine?

Why does the sound of your voice turn my blue stripes red?

And Why,

_Why_

Does the presence of you force a smile upon my face?

I was taught that love was nothing,

Just a pointless Tyson in the way,

But now my neko,

I see how powerful it is.

I could beat me in beyblade match any day.

Once I pitied myself

And Flowed tears through my eyes.

Once I considered committing suicide,

But I was born a man,

And I intend to stay one.

So being that,

I must accept my responsibilities and duties.

As a wise man once said:

"A true beyblader must face his fears"

Ha-ha,

Funny how that wise man used to be me.

I was strong in things,

And weak in things.

Now, I am just full of sad girlish strength.

All because I cannot admit the person I am.

But now,

Time has gone by,

My fear has flown out my right ear

I am now a man who loves a man.

**_The fire grows inside  
The feeling can not be denied  
When everywhere I turn there's signs because they push me_**

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Harpy: Woo! Yay, first chapter is complete . I'd appreciate it if you  
guys reviewed cause I love to hear what everyone thinks of my story. Next  
chapter will be up soon! Stay tuned for that.


	2. Tournament Of The Best

Harpy: I'm back! Let's party! He-he anyways… chappie 2 is up now . I posted this chapter really early because I had nothing else better to do and I've written this story on paper before, so, I don't have to think of what I'm going to write, I just read and type! Okie, well I'll stop blabbing and let you read and enjoy my fabulous story =)

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Beyblade or any of its characters. This is just a mere fanfic!

**_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you_**

**_You are my only one_**

**_I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do_**

**_You are my only, my only one_**

The tournament of the best has begun,

And my darling Rei is first to be up.

As he launches his blade and screams the words "Let it rip!",

My heart pounds,

Not just for the match,

But for everything that has to do with him.

I watched the way he trash talked his opponent.

I observed every jerk that his body made.

And I stared at the many expressions upon his beautiful face.

Oh, how I lingered just to hold that moving sculpted body of his.

**_Broken this fragile thing now_**

**_And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces_**

**_And I've thrown my words all around_**

**_But I can't, I can't give you a reason_**

Alas the match was over.

And my poor Rei turned out to be the fallen one.

Yet,

I did not care.

He is safe and unhurt,

That's all that maters to me.

Sigh How I wanted to say words of meaning to that poor soul.

But I did not dare,

It would be too obvious of my feelings for him.

And the words I planned weren't meant to be expressed through speech…

'.'

I am second to go,

And fear is not running through my veins.

I hear the voices of my team mates cheer me on,

And my soul dances as it hears Rei:

"Good luck Kai, we believe in you!"

I close my eyes and savor the moment.

Then again,

It's not the first time to hear words like this come out of his seductive lips.

How kind my Rei Kon is.

As my mind nearly disappears into a breathtaking dream,

Jazz man [I think that's the reffs name anyways o.O] wakes me with his countdown.

As he says the words "let it rip!",

My opponent and my blade fly into the massive bowl.

I smirk.

Just like that, his blade was gone,

Leaving Dranzer in a steady untouched spin.

The crowd cheers for me,

And my team mates as well.

Tyson, Max, Kenny, and yes, my little Rei Kon,

They all dedicate the smiles upon their faces to me.

Each of them come up to say congrats,

And all of a sudden,

My heart burst of joy,

As I feel the touch of my darlings hand upon my pale shoulder.

"You made us proud Kai"

Oh those words,

How they echoed through my head!

Oh how my eyes widened!

Oh how I was speechless!

I couldn't help but give Rei a smile,

That was only reserved for him.

Rei,

What a nice name.

**_Here I go so dishonestly_**

**_Leave a note for you my only one_**

**_And I know you can see right through me_**

**_So let me go and you will find someone_**

It was Tyson's turn to win a match.

As my team mates cheered him on,

I sat silently,

Glancing at my neko.

Sigh Each time that I look at him,

It makes me wonder,

How will I ever be able,

To show my feelings to this beautiful creature?

If I did,

How would he react?

Would he run from fear?

Or hate?

Or would he stay for love?

Or pity love?

If Rei Kon ever refused my love for him,

My heart would go missing,

And when it has been found,

It would be too late.

My heart would already be shattered into countless pieces.

But if my darling Rei Kon graciously presents me with his love in return,

I would never let him go.

For he would mean the world to me,

And I'd risk my own life for his.

As my mind drifts into a peaceful breeze,

The loud cheer of the crowd wakes me.

As I observed,

I saw a fallen dark red blade,

And a healthy spinning white one.

Our team is the winner.

**_Made my mistakes, let you down_**

**_And I can't, I can't hold on for too long_**

**_Ran my whole life in the ground_**

**_And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone_**

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**__**

Harpy: That's chappie 2 for you people . Hope you liked it! Don't forget to review! Oh, and stay tuned for chappie 3. If you're lucky, it'll be up as fast as this chapter was. He-he, anyways ttyl.


	3. Destiny?

Harpy: I'm back! Aren't I a fast updater? Thanks for the reviews guys, I really appreciate them, so keep them up!

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own and Beyblade or any of its characters. This is just a mere fanfic!

**_I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor. _**

**_Love is all, all my soul. _**

**_You're my Playground Love. _**

As we walk victoriously out of the stadium,

I am not watching where I go,

But where my neko is going.

He is my source of light in the dark.

He is the healer of my wounds.

And he is the sparkle in my eyes.

**_You're the piece of gold the flushes all my soul. _**

**_Extra time, on the ground. _**

**_You're my Playground Love. _**

Why God put me in this world,

I will never know.

But I do know,

That I was destined,

To love a Chinese boy named Rei Kon.

And he will know…

Soon.

**_Anytime, anyway, _**

**_You're my Playground Love._**

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Harpy: There ya go. Short chapter I know, but I meant it to be this way. I promise you though that the next chapter will be longer! Till then. :3 R/R plz!


	4. The end?

Harpy: Okay, now that my stupid infraction thingy is FINALLY over, I can update again! =D Don't worry, I'll make sure that an infraction never happens again, cause I missed uploading. =( Ooh, and thank you for the reviews everyone! I'm glad that everybody's enjoying the story so far. Oh and to answer one of you questions (sorry forgot who asked this =P), I'm THINKING of adding an extra chapter at the and of the story in Rei's POV, but that's a MAYBE… so don't get all psyched about it yet. Alrighty then… on with the story I guess.

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Beyblade or any of its characters. This is jut a mere fanfic!

**_I swear that I can go on forever again_**

**_Please let me know that my one bad day will end_**

**_I will go down as your lover, your friend_**

**_Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin_****__**

As we enter our bus,

I seat myself at the back,

Where I can watch my darling Rei Kon.

Who knew that I would get more…

"Is it alright if I sit with you Kai?"

A familiar voice asked.

Rei.

_My _Rei,

Would want to sit beside me?

He had the freedom to choose any seat of his desire,

And he chose this one.

As I stared into his big amber eyes,

I began to feel warm inside.

I turned to face the window,

For my cheeks were turning redder than blood.

"If you want"

I quietly forced out the words.

Rei replied with a warm smile and sat.

My Rei Kon smiled at me,

What a beautiful gift.

**_I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you_**

**_I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you_**

**_Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming_**

**_And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this_****__**

Through the endless ride we did not speak,

For I was too shy,

And my Rei too quiet.

But alas,

He had broken the silence:

"So Kai"

He began,

"Aren't you happy that we won the tournament?"

I slowly glanced at him,

This must be a dream.

Rei's starting a conversation with me?

But why?

I never would have considered us to be "friends",

But is Rei willing to make that risk?

Am I?

I sat bluntly not knowing what to say.

But then,

I finally responded:

"I guess, but why are _you _so happy? It's not like you won any of the matches".

Rei stared at me with shock.

It became quiet again.

Ah shit…

**_Are you afraid of being alone_**

**_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_**

**_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_**

**_Cause I am, I'm lost without you_****__**

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Harpy: Yes I know, a very short chapter, but don't worry! Trust me, they're going to get longer. Oh this story is getting good… I'll be updating the next chapter soon, till then! Keep on writing those reviews guys!


	5. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!

Harpy: Alright, chappie 5! Okay, before I start this chapter, I just want to name the song lyrics for each of my chapters (so I don't get in trouble or anything =P)

Chapter 1: Smile Empty Soul – Who I Am

Chapter 2: Yellowcard – Only One

Chapter 3: AIR – Playground Love

Chapter 4: Blink 182 – I'm Lost Without You

There ya have it!

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade or any of its characters and I do not own the song lyrics that I have added in my fic.

**_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?_**

**_If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_**

**_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call_**

**_If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all_**

He still hasn't talked to me.

My poor Rei,

My poor, poor Rei.

Why did I have to burst such devil words out?

_Why?_

Am I not a man who can control myself?

I try to be me,

Yet,

The consequences are often fatal.

I carry my wounds around,

Which are well hidden.

But how come Rei sees them so clearly?

He is the only boy who I can actually _stand_ on this team.

He is the only boy who doesn't topple hell over me.

He is the only boy I love.

**_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_**

**_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_**

**_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_**

What a horrible disease!

But I can't help myself…

Oh,

Why did I have to have such feelings for him?!

What is it about my Rei Kon that I find so deliciously irresistible?

Is it because he brought out this new feeling in me,

Which I thought I never had?

I didn't think that anyone but Dranzer,

Would always be in my dreams,

Would always be on my mind.

If I am genetically perfect,

Then it obviously is a curse.

Even worse then imperfection.

-Sigh- Only time shall tell,

If Rei will forgive my silent apology.

He should,

He will,

Because he's Rei,

The most kind, gentle, forgiving kitten on the planet.

I just know he will.

**_'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away_**

**_And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today_**

**_'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right_**

**_And though I can't be with you tonight_**

**_And know my heart is by your side_**

-_Daniel Beddingfield –If you're not the one _

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Harpy: There ya have it, chapter 5. I'll be updating the next chapter soon! Till then =3


	6. The Dream

Harpy: I'm back with chapter 6! Thanks for the reviews everyone, keep them up! I love reading what you guys think of my fic. Without further ado, chapter 6:

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own beyblade or any of its characters. This is jus a mere fanfic!

**_I am_**

**_A little bit of loneliness_**

**_A little bit of disregard_**

**_A handful of complaints_**

**_But I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars_****__**

I stand and stare,

Where am I?

The only words I seem to be able to breath.

A gentle breeze glides past my shoulder,

I turn,

I see him.

What's he doing there?

"Rei?"

I ask.

Why is he just standing there?

.'.

This place is dark and weary.

Much like me.

There's nothing in sight,

Except for Rei.

Who is standing,

Standing ghostly like,

Giving me cold hard stares,

With his pale white cat eyes.

Pale white?

My neko has always had amber jewels.

Never White.

**_I am_**

**_What I want you to want_**

**_What I want you to feel_**

**_But it's like no matter what I do_**

**_I can't convince you to just believe this is real_****__**

I stare and stare,

It feels like ages,

Yet he's so still.

It hurts my soul to look at him.

Rei seems almost dead.

His face is emotionless,

And so is his body.

But his eyes,

Oh those eyes,

How they bring tears in mine.

I can tell he's trying to tell me something,

But not through words.

No,

It's as if he doesn't know speech.

Rei shuts his eyes for a moment,

And opens them again.

As they widen,

Everything begins to brighten.

White light has overpowered the darkness.

… Through Rei's eyes?

Why is everything around him filled with light,

And my area is seeping with darkness?

**_So I let go watching you_**

**_Turn your back like you always do_**

**_Face away and pretend that I'm not_**

**_But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got_****__**

I see a smile form upon Rei's smooth face,

And I notice words beginning to form.

"Kai"

His faint voice echoed.

Stunned by all of it,

I am frozen.

After a few moments,

I am able to force something out.

"Rei?"

He just kept staring at me.

What does he want?

"Send the dark away Kai, send it away".

Send the dark away?

What does he mean?

"How Rei"

I ask.

"Eyes, through your eyes"/

I listen carefully to his words,

Yet I am unable to process them.

"I don't understand"

"Through your eyes. Eyes reveal all"

Eyes reveal all…

Hmm…

I am either a fool,

Or Rei is just babbling.

As I stare at Rei,

I slowly notice him going further and further away.

"Shine the light through your eyes Kai, they reveal all…"

Those words echoed through my head,

As I slowly watched Rei disappear.

Why didn't I run after him?

.'.

I open my eyes in panic,

And speedily rise from my pillow.

Cold hard sweat dripped down my body.

I sigh in relief,

"It was just a dream".

I hate it when my mind plays tricks on me.

**_Time won't heal_**

**_This damage anymore_**

**_Don't turn your back on me_**

**_I won't be ignored_**

****_Linkin Park - Faint___

[_AUTHORS NOTE:_ The dream has really nothing to do with story and Kai never really finds out what it meant. It's just showing how lonely Kai is without Rei and how guilty he feels about what he said to Rei.]

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Harpy: Aww, I love this chapter! It's so cool! Lemme here what you think of it guys! Till chappie 7.


	7. Depression

Harpie: Hey I'm back with chappie 7! Thank you sooo much for all the reviews guys and I'm so glad that all of you are enjoying my fic. Finally my infraction is over and done with! Yeah… so I really don't have anything else to say so I'll just start with chappie 7 =P Enjoy!

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade nor any of its characters.

**_I try to breathe_**

**_Memories overtaking me_**

**_I try to face them but_**

**_The thought is too much to conceive_**

-Flashback-

"Send the dark away, send it away Kai"

Send the dark away?

What does he mean?

"How Rei"

I ask

"Eyes, through your eyes"

I listen carefully to his words

Yet I am unable to process them.

"I don't understand"

"Through your eyes. Eyes reveal all"

Eyes reveal all…

Hmm…

-Flashback over-

**_I only know that I can change_**

**_Everything else just stays the same_**

**_So now I step out of the darkness_**

**_that my life became_**

As the world keeps turning

So does my head.

Day and night,

I ponder,

What did that dream mean?

Shine light through your eyes?

Eyes reveal all?

Why was Rei even in my dream?

But most of all,

Why do I even care?

It was just a stupid dream.

It didn't mean anything.

…Right?

For some reason,

It haunts me.

It's unlike any dream I've ever had,

I hate it!

**_So where were you?_**

**_When all this I was going through_**

**_You never took the time_**

**_To ask me just what you could do_**

Dammit… everything's been so complicated lately.

Rei still won't talk to me,

I'm too much of a coward to apologize,

And that dream hasn't been exactly healing my suffering.

I hate myself right now.

Period.

I feel as if a monstrous cloud of depression

Has been toppling liters of heavy dirty rain all over me,

And has been following me everywhere.

Why am I even alive…

Take me now God!

If you despise me so much,

Might as well send me to my grave now,

It'll make both of our days.

Hell would treat me better than this anyway.

Not like I deserve to be treated better.

Rei probably cried that day,

That day when evil devoured my heart.

How I feel so horrible.

I KNEW I shouldn't have said that,

Then why did I?

I guess it's impossible to hide the real Kai in me.

-Sigh- My heart feels so empty with out him,

Even emptier than it was before.

Maybe I shouldn't tell him,

Doesn't look like he'd care anyways.

Nope…

He wouldn't.

**_I just needed someone to talk to_**

**_You were just to busy with yourself_**

**_You were never there for me_**

**_To express how I felt_**

**_I just stuffed it down_**

Why do my eyes feel so wet?

Everything's so blurry…

I feel something go down my cheeks.

No,

It can't be,

Can it?

Tears?

I,

Kai Hiwatari,

Am crying?

Why are these waterfalls pouring out of my eyes?

I'd be able to drown myself soon!

Maybe I should,

No point in me living.

I'm not allowed to love Rei,

I'm not allowed to love myself.

Just keep on crying I guess,

Just keep on crying…

**_Now I'm older and I feel like_**

**_I could let some of this anger fade_**

**_But it seems the surface I am scratching_**

**_Is the bed that I have made_**

_ STAIND - Fade_

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Harpie: Oh my God! –Sniff sniff- That was such a sad chapter! Jeez, I nearly cried when I was writing it! Ah… so sad =( poor Kai! Alright well, next chapter will be up soon, I got to go and get a Kleenex or something lol till then! Review plz!


	8. Good News

Harpie: Haha… I am back with chapter 8! Lol, though I really don't consider this a chapter since it's so freaking short! If it is a chapter, it's the worlds shortest then =P. Ok well before I start this ½ chapter (lol) I would like to thank all of you that reviewed my story, especially TNTiggris who have reviewed for every chapter that I have posted so far –claps- thank you very much you two =D! Alright, well here's chapter 8…

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Good news,

I didn't kill myself.

Whoopee.

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Harpie: Hey, I wasn't kidding when I said it was a VERY short chapter. So short, that I didn't even bother putting a song in it. Don't worry, this is the shortest chapter in my story. The next chapters are going to be nice and long, just the way you like em! Okie dokie, till next chappie (which I'll probably post soon since I feel bad for posting such a small chapter). R/R please!


	9. At The Dinner Table

Harpie: Hey I'm back with chappie 9! Yes, this WILL be a long chapter, so don't worry =P. Thanks for the reviews everyone, keep em coming!

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade nor any of its characters.

**_I don't know what to do when the fire's going out_**

**_I don't know where it ends and _**

**_I don't know where it starts_****__**

I'm sitting at the dinner table,

Accompanied by my pathetic teammates.

Team?

There's no such thing as a team,

There shoudn't be anyways.

There's no Kai in team (lol, I laughed when he first said that =P)

That's for sure.

Rei isn't pathetic though,

He probably thinks I am.

He's sitting across from me,

I glance,

He glances back,

And quickly turns his attention to his food.

This dinner would have been completely silent,

If it wasn't for Tyson's loud chewing.

God,

Can't he eat with his mouth closed for once?

Which reminds me,

My foods getting cold.

-Smirk- Rei prepared this.

He's such a talented cook,

He must have put a lot of hate into my dish.

Maybe that's why I can't eat…

What's wrong with me?

Rei's _food _even makes me guilty!

**_One year later and the fire's going strong_**

**_I don't know what I did and _**

**_I don't know what went wrong_****__**

We continue our immature game of 'I glance at you, you glance at me".

Everytime I do catch a peek of Rei's eyes,

They look as if they have been stabbed by a thousand tears,

And it's my entire fault.

Oh boy,

Max suspects something,

Here he goes…

"Gee Rei, you look pretty upset. What did Kai do to you this time?"

He laughed.

So the little punk thinks this is funny, huh?

He hasn't been through what I have been through,

He has no right to joke about me.

Rei's getting uncomfortable.

So am I.

I gave Max a look he'd never forget.

He got the message.

Rei looks at Max with his kitten face,

Oi… I feel even worse now.

"Aw, it's nothing Max"

He lied.

What he really meant to say was:

"You're right max. I do look pretty upset. It's cause I am. Kai called me a bad blader when he knows I'm not because he hates me and I hate him back".

That sounds about right.

**_You will never know_**

**_What it's like to be here _**

**_What it's like to be me_****__**

The dinner tables silent again.

It's as if everyone _knows _about mine and Rei's problem.

I can't take this anymore.

It's too awkward.

I decide to get up and leave.

"Where are you heading off to Kai?"

Asked Tyson.

Can't he mind his own business?

"To my room"

I reply.

Why did I even answer him?

Tyson's not worthy of my time.

He looks at my plate,

"You didn't even touch your food!"

Tyson's really getting on my nerves now.

"Well, maybe I wasn't hungry!"

I didn't mean to yell.

No,

Actually I did.

Tyson shrugged,

"Suit yourself".

Oh great,

Now he's _eating _my food.

What's wrong with him!?

True to my word,

I proceed to my room,

And lie on my bed,

Thinking about Rei.

**_I won't let it show_**

**_What I'm really feeling _**

**_Now that you are leaving_****__**

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Harpie: See? It's a long chapter, I didn't lie! Watcha think of it? I finally wrote a chapter where there's something going on, not the kind where I write about Kai's inner emotions. Alright well, as usual, review please! I'll be posting chapter 10 next week. Till then, buh-bie!


	10. The Decision

Harpie: Oi, I'm soooooo sorry I couldn't update this sooner! Just now that school's started; I've had like no time to update my fics. I should have posted this like, what, 4 weeks ago? Ah jeez... oh well at least I finally am writing this :D. So once again, thank you soo much for all your reviews everyone! Okay, so I won't stall you anymore, here's chappie 10...

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**_I've been searching for a reason_**

_**And I'm running out of time**_

_**I can feel that it's the season**_

_**It's time to make up my mind**_

1 hour...

2 hours...

Jeez,

I've been lying on this God forsaken bed for 3 hours,

Has anyone asked how I was doing?

Nope.

It's as if a thick wall isolates me from everyone else,

Labeling me a loner.

Well maybe I don't like being loner Kai;

The greatest Beyblader the world has ever seen.

Maybe I like being happy-go-lucky Kai;

The most loveable Beyblader the world has ever seen!

O.O

What the hell am I saying!?

Happy-go-lucky Kai?

Worlds most loveable Blader??

I don't think there even is such _side _of me!

I'm going insane...

And it's all Rei's fault.

Maybe I don't really love him.

Love!?

I can't believe I was foolish enough to call that unbearable feeling _love_.

That wasn't love.

Beyblading and Dranzer;

Now _that's _love,

Rei _isn't _love.

No,

He's not.

I don't think so...

**_And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do_**

**_There are so many thoughts in my head_**

**_There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose_**

_**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**_

Ah... my head.

All these decisions,

All this pointless thinking,

I'm so confused!

I feel like I'm at a dead end right now,

A dead freaking end.

I can't believe I'm saying this,

But...

I'm scared,

I'm so, _so _scared,

I didn't mean what I said!

I _need_ you Rei!

I need you to devour this fear,

I need you to hold my hand...

And say that everything's going to be okay.

'Cause you're here now.

**_Am I ready for forever? _**

**_Oh, God, show me a sign_**

**_'Cause if we're to be together_**

**_Then it's got to be divine_****__**

I hate being lonely,

I _hate _it,

And I hate being confused.

I'm sick of all these tears,

And I'm sick of feeling so empty.

For once I'm going to do what's right,

Screw Beyblading and family honor for a moment!

I'm going to talk to you Rei,

And I'm not going to wuss out.

I'm going to say I'm sorry and tell you how I feel whether you like it or not.

I'm going to let it all out Rei,

And it won't matter if you don't feel the same way.

At least you know now,

And I won't have to hold it in me anymore.

You're going to see the _real _Kai.

I'm still not quite sure what the dream meant,

But I know the answer will shine through,

As soon as I look into _your _eyes Rei.

I love you Rei Kon.

I really really do.

_**Father, which way should I go?**_

**_I cannot clearly see_**

_**Oh, I love him so**_

_**But only you know if he's the one for me**_

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Harpie: Yay! Finally, chapter 10! Okay read the following information because it's some-what important:

**The next 3 chapters of the fic will be the FINAL chapters of the whole story!!! They will be in parts and each chapter will end with a major cliff hanger (yes I'm so mean lol).**

Lol, yes, I know, boohoo, the story is ending (I had so much fun writing it too!). It's fun to mess with Kai's head lol... okay so as usual, please review! I just love reading what you guys think of my story! Until next chap.... Which hopefully I'll post soon -.-


	11. Confronting Rei Part 1

Harpy: Yay I'm back with chapter 11! This time, I actually didn't take forever to post the chapter! Alright, so this is the first part of the "Confronting Rei" saga (hehe, couldn't think of what to call it ), so once again, each chapter will end with major cliffys which will surely piss you off and make you want to rip off the heads of little birds. –Sweat drop- yeah.... Okay I'll shut up now and let you read the story!

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_**Everything's so blurry**_

_**and everyone's so fake**_

_**and everybody's empty**_

_**and everything is so messed up**_

It's late.

Everyone's probably asleep by now.

Why Aren't I?

I decide to go to the Kitchen,

To get a snack or something.

As I proceed out of my room,

My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat.

There he is,

Rei.

Just standing on the balcony,

Gazing upon the night stars.

What's he doing up so late?

If Rei noticed me he'd probably be wondering the same thing.

But hey,

I'm Kai.

**_Pre-occupied without you_**

_**I cannot live at all**_

_**My whole world surrounds you **_

_**I stumble then I crawl**_

I've been standing in the same spot for a while,

Just frozen.

Oh Rei...

I was planning to tell you,

But why so soon?

My Lord,

Did you plan this?

Is this the right moment?

Not like any moment would be right.

Might as well get it over with...

I approach the balcony,

He still hasn't noticed me.

Is it just me,

But does Rei look even more breathtaking at night?

His long raven hair shines in the moons light so extravagantly,

And his tasteful clothing looks better than ever.

Rei's as beautiful as a tiger.

Of course,

I can only see the back of him,

But I'm sure the front blows me away just as much.

I step onto the balcony,

Rei hears something,

He turns around,

I've been revealed.

There we are,

Two lonesome bodies,

Staring in shock into each others empty eyes.

Oh wow,

He really does look amazing from the front.

_**Everyone is changing**_

**_there's no one left that's real_**

_**to make up your own ending**_

_**and let me know just how you feel**_

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Harpy: Mwahahahaha... CLIFFY! Yes, I know, very short chapter, but I promise the last 2 chaps will be nice and long (especially the last one, well it's longer than most of my chapters P) I'll try to post the 2nd part next week, eek! The 2nd parts really good and it ends with an even bigger cliffy! Mwahahaha.... I'm so evil! Okay well, please review everyone, If you don't, well... I know where you live!!! P Hehe, ttyl!


	12. Confronting Rei Part 2

Hapry: I'mmmmmmmmmmmm back! Yes, sorry for the some-what long wait, I got too lazy to post the new chapter so. But hey, at least I'm posting it now! Okay well since this chapter is the second part of the "Confronting Rei trilogy" (hehe, didn't know what else to call it) and it's soo damn good, I'll let you read it now and stop I'll stop this pointless rambling . Oh and, thanks for the reviews, even though I only got 2 for the last chapter –shakes fist-

;.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';

-Flashback-

I step onto the balcony,

Rei hears something,

He turns around,

I've been revealed.

There we were,

Two heartbroken bodies,

Staring into each others eyes with shock.

Oh wow,

He really does look amazing from the front.

-Flashback over-

_**Cuttin' through the darkest night**_

_**In my two headlights**_

_**I'm trying to keep it clear**_

_**But I'm losing it here**_

_**To the twilight**_

Rei,

You're amber eyes always seem to stand out the most,

So beautiful.

Our little silent staring contest continued,

Until I decided to withdraw...:

"Hey Rei"

I began.

It's quiet.

"Hi"

He answers nervously.

Don't be nervous Rei,

You shouldn't be.

He looked at the ground,

Then turned away from me.

I stood beside him and leaned on the icy cold rail,

Which sent countless chills down my spine,

Like the feeling Rei gives me.

Rei kept his eyes on the glistening stars,

Maybe this was all just a bad idea idea...

I can tell he doesn't want me here.

What was I thinking?!

He clearly doesn't –

Oh, I'm just going to say it:

"I'm sorry, Rei"

There.

Now I got his attention;

_**There's a dead end to my left**_

_**There's a burning bush to my right**_

_**You aren't in sight**_

_**You aren't in sight**_

"That day on the bus..."

I ran my right hand through my hair nervously

"I didn't mean it".

He looked at me,

With surprise written all over his kind face:

"You really are a _good_ blader... and it's not like people haven't lost before, I sure have..."

How the truth hurts.

Wow,

I swear I just saw a smile on Rei's face.

I was wrong,

This _was _a good idea.

Rei's going to say something,

Prepare yourself Kai,

"I'm over that already... I was over it a long time ago, Kai".

...

What?

"But thanks anyways, glad to know you care".

Thanks anyways?

Then why for the past week,

Have you been ignoring me Rei?

And giving me those innocent kitten stares every once in a while?

"O...kay..."

That's all I said.

That's all I _could _say.

What now?

Ugh...

My confusions back again!

What's wrong Rei?

Why are you doing this to me...

I have to know more,

But what to say?

"Why have you been ignoring me then, Rei?"

Good.

A nice straight forward answer should do it.

_**Or am I standing still? **_

_**Beneath the darkened sky**_

_**Or am I standing still? **_

_**With the scenery flying by**_

_**Or am I standing still? **_

_**Out of the corner of my eye**_

_**Was that you that passed me by?**_

I know there's more Rei,

You can't hide it forever.

He looks confused.

If anyone should be looking confused,

It should be me.

Rei looks at me,

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?"

Huh?

No,

Not you Rei.

Tyson yes,

But never you my neko...:

"Not really, I mean, it's not like I _want _you to talk to me... wait I _do_, but..."

Ah, jeez,

I can feel my body heating up...

I just made a fool of myself.

Rei smiled,

Then his smile quickly turned into a laugh.

Wow,

I made Rei laugh,

Cool.

_**Mothers on a stoop**_

_**Boys in souped-up coupes**_

_**On this hot summer night**_

_**Between fight and flight**_

_**Is the blind man's sight**_

_**And the choice that's right**_

He turned to face me,

He's going to say something,

"So you really don't hate me?"

Hate?

How could I hate such a gift as you Rei?

You've understood me more than anyone I've known,

Even more than myself.

You've given me space when I needed it,

And you always told Tyson to leave me alone.

No,

I don't hate you,

I love you...

I love you,

I love you:

"I love you"

...

...

...

Oh... my... god...

Did I just say that out loud?

Oh s--t,

Oh s--t,

Oh s--t oh s--t oh s--t O.O!!!

_**Do you need me like I need you to? **_

_**Do you want me like I want you? **_

_**Or are you passing me by? **_

_**Or am I standing still?**_

;.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';.';

Harpy: Guess what? CLIFFY!!! Mwahahahahaha... Eek! I'm so proud of this chapter, I don't know why lol. Yeah I know, there's some profanity in this chapter... but w/e, you guys are mature enough to handle it! I censored it because I'm scared that my story could get taken down so, and for _your_ sake just in case if your parents walk in on you and notice the dirty and foul stories that you read... hehehe –evil grin- And if you didn't know the swear words, then you are a very stupid and sad person and I do mean that to offend you.

Aww, the next chapter is going to be the** FINAL CHAPTER **and I'm kind-of sad cause this story was so much fun to write!!! But I promise everyone, that the last chapter it going to be great! Until then people!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIEW!!!! I CAN'T STRETCH THAT ENOUGH!!! REVIEWS ARE LIKE A DRUG TO ME! I NEED THEM TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY!!.....................................................Yes, that is all.


	13. Confronting Rei Part 3

Harpie: After 4 weeks of doing nothing, I'm back with the final chapter! –Cries- Oh, it's so depressing! I'm sorry for making everyone wait, I've been really busy with school and all so –cough- Lazed out –cough-. For the last chapter, I decided to write it with Usher and Alicia's Keys's song "My Boo" because that song's really pretty and I think it'll suit the chapter –hint hint-. I had to change some of the words though because it's not boy/girl love as you know lol.

Now lastly, I want to thank everyone that read and reviewed my story. You've truly kept me motivated to write and post each of these chapters! Here are a few honorable mentions: black demon wolf, TNTiggris, keisan, darksaphire, HellsFireAngel, saFire flame, miriam906, and Tsunami.

Thank you to everyone else, and I hope you enjoy the last chapter of "Rei, Why Am I Gay?". Look out for future fics by me (I'll be posting some soon)!

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-Flashback-

"So you don't hate me?"

Hate?

How could I hate such a gift as you Rei?

You've understood me more than anyone I've known,

Even more than myself.

You've given me space when I needed it,

And you always told Tyson to leave me alone.

No,

I don't hate you,

I love you...

I love you,

I love you:

"I love you"

...

...

...

Oh... my... god...

Did I just say that out loud?

Oh s--t,

Oh s--t,

Oh s--t oh s--t oh s--t O.O!!!

-Flashback over-

_**There's always that one person**_

**_That will always have your heart_**

_**You'll never see it coming**_

_**Cause you're blinded from the start**_

"You... what?"

Rei asked with his eyes as wide as I've ever seen.

...

What now?

Fear is running through my body at a rapid speed,

Matching my hearts loud beating.

What have I done...

There's no turning back now,

I wish I could,

But I can't.

I... can't...

_**Know that you're that one for me**_

_**It's clear for everyone to see**_

_**Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo**_

I feel Rei's hand touch my frozen shoulder,

I'm way too out of it to even really care.

"...Kai?"

Rei asked with a slight shaking in his voice.

I could barely hear him,

How could I?

I've just admitted my obsessive lust to the object of my affection,

Who is none other then Rei Kon.

_**Do you remember boy**_

**_I was the one who gave you your first kiss_**

**_Cause I remember boy_**

_**I was the one who said put your lips like this**_

My body is so pale...

I've completely lost all my senses.

My eyes reflected my emotions perfectly:

Shocked, scared, speechless.

I can't believe I said it...

I should just walk away.

I'm not ready for this.

This is all a dark nightmare to me.

Rei probably thinks I'm some kind of a freak or something...

Dammit...

I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

_**Even before all the fame and **_

_**People screaming your name**_

**_Boy I was there when you were my baby_**

I've held my silence for too long.

I've got to say something to Rei...

But what?

"Oh by the way, I was just yanking your chain when I said I love you!"

Psh,

Yeah right.

If only it were as easy as that!

You have to say something Kai,

Just say whatever!

"I... I love you, Rei"

**_It started when we were younger_**

_**You were mine my boo**_

**_Now another brother's taking over_**

_**But its still in your eyes my boo**_

WHAT THE HELL!?!?

Why did I just say that again???

Oh my God...

What is _wrong_ with me!?

Now there's nothing I can do to change the past.

It's as if I have 2 split personalities.

Am I schizophrenic or something!?

**_Even though we used to argue it's alright_**

**_I know we haven't seen each other_**

_**In awhile but you will always be my boo**_

I rub my hand on my sweaty neck,

Trying as best as I can not to look at Rei.

Now I'm completely speechless.

I've said all I could say.

I guess that's what I kind of wanted...

**_I was in love with you when we were younger_**

_**You were mine my boo**_

_**And I see it from time to time**_

_**I still feel like my boo**_

I finally couldn't take it anymore,

I _had _to glance at Rei.

I turned my head slowly so I could face him,

And then quickly turned it back.

His face looked so different;

His mouth was slightly open,

Eyebrows were raised,

And his eyes seemed to sparkle as much as the stars above us,

Yet his skin tone remained the same.

Not a blush in sight.

Great,

He probably thinks I'm a loser faggot now.

**_And I can see it no matter_**

_**How I try to hide my boo**_

**_Even though there's another man in my life_**

_**You will always be my boo**_

As my head rested on my chest,

And my eyes stared at the ground,

I felt a warm hand lift up my chin,

It's Rei's hand.

What does he want?

**_Yes I remember boy_**

_**Cause after we kissed**_

_**I could only think about your lips**_

_**Yes I remember boy**_

**_The moment I knew you were the one _**

_**I could spend my life with**_

For a minute,

We just stared into each others eyes.

Didn't say anything,

Didn't do anything.

It felt like heaven.

I didn't care what was going through Rei's head at that moment,

Probably something bad anyways.

This is the closest, physically, that I've ever been to him.

Slowly he began to lean in.

Closer,

And closer...

I can't believe I was so blind to notice what he was doing.

But most of all,

I can't believe he was kissing me.

_**Even before all the fame**_

_**And people screaming your name**_

_**I was there and you were my baby**_

There we were,

Two not-so-hearbroken-anymore boys,

Kissing each other,

Under the glorious night sky.

-Sigh-

**_It started when we were younger_**

_**You were mine my boo**_

**_Now another brother's taking over_**

**_But its still in your eyes my boo_**

It all ended so soon,

It felt like it anyways.

Before I knew it,

Rei's arms were around my shoulders,

And mine around his waist.

We both smiled at each other.

"Well I guess I couldn't keep it in me either"

He joked.

"I'm sure glad _I _didn't"

I responded,

And we kissed again.

For once,

It's not all a dream,

Rei Kon loves me back.

**__**

**_Even though we used to argue it's alright_**

**_I know we haven't seen each other_**

_**In awhile but you will always be my boo**_

_End._


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